The Other Side of Me

I was watching a Taiwanese drama late yesterday night.  The first few episodes were a little draggy and slow but I did not give it a pass simply because it is the first Taiwanese detective kind of story I've come across in the sea of romantic dramas.

I remember not liking Vic Zhou when he acted in Meteor Garden ten years ago.  Too stiff.  No character.  However in 痞子英雄 I was really surprised to see a drastic change in his acting.  And this time, I gave my nod of approval albeit still not liking him in that way you fancy an idol  :P

There was one episode where he lost the love of his life - the only girl, apart from his mum, who gave him the meaning of life, the meaning of humankind.  He launched into a self-destructive mode.  Staring into blank space.  Oblivious to his surrounding.  Everyone and everything was non-existent to him.

He gave up on his life the day the girl died in the bomb blast.  He thought that there was nothing left in his empty life if even the only person who cared for him is gone.

He wandered aimlessly in the streets.  He drank bottle after bottle of alcohol.  In his mind, there was only one thing alive.  The brief memories of their time together.  Happy times, they were.  The flashback was replayed over and over again and tears streamed down his cheeks profusely.  No one could ever understand the pain he felt.  No one could ever understand how much the girl meant to him.

There was this particular scene which touches me deeply.  He was trying so hard to shut off the memories of her, the memories of them, but in vain.  The more he tried to forget, the more vivid it became.  The pain was too much to bear that he had to cover his hand over his mouth to silence the cry.  Yet, there were uncontrollable cries that escaped through his trembling hand.

I wonder if he had gone through moments like this in real life to have mastered this so well.  The exact actions, the exact emotions, the exact sounds.  Because in him, I saw myself from the not-so-far-away past.